“BURRRP! Ahh…another satisfying blech,” Chuck Stake murmured while languidly chewing his cud. “And another mini-cloud of methane floats to the sky,” Starr Ling squawked. “What’s it to you?” Chuck retorted. “I can’t help it; that’s what cattle do. We belch a lot.”
“No skin off my… er…beak.” But I heard Farmer Brown talking to some of his customers. They’re worried about something called greenhouse gasses that are goofing up the air. Anyway, they asked him if it’s true that each one of you guys burp and fart about 200 pounds of methane gas each year. Then they asked if making a hamburger generates more than 4 times the amount of something called CO2 than a pulled-pork sandwich and 10 times more than a chick patty.
“Sounds to me like you might be in trouble, Bub. Apparently, it’s nasty to have too much of this methane and CO2 stuff in the air. When his customers left, their grocery bags weren’t very full. Makes no never mind to me, but I bet Brown is thinking about dumping you guys and picking up some pigs and chickens instead.” chuckled Starr as she flapped away.
As soon as Starr was out of sight, Rob Inn glided down in front of Chuck. “Cheer up! Cheer up!” he sang. “Oh be quiet. That’s what you always say, but you wouldn’t if you were in my… hooves,” Chuck sniffed. “Well, I heard what Starr told you. She’s so loud! But I think you actually do have reason to cheer up,” Rob replied.
“Here’s the rest of the story. Farmer Brown agreed that people should eat less beef; it’s healthier for folks and for the planet. But he also said the numbers they were asking about referred to national averages for food bought in fast food joints and sold in chain grocery stores. You guys are all grass-fed and don’t end up in huge feedlots. Beyond that, you’re certified by the Low Carbon Beef company. It measures stuff like Brown’s farm’s feeds, fuels, fertilizers, and cattle function, so he can charge extra for his products,” Rob chirped.
“I see,” Chuck nodded. “Ya gotta know your farmer and eat high-quality beef but less often. And take it from an herbivore - Eat More Greens! You’ll be healthier and so will our only home. It’s where we’re all forever… Earthbound.”
“No skin off my… er…beak.” But I heard Farmer Brown talking to some of his customers. They’re worried about something called greenhouse gasses that are goofing up the air. Anyway, they asked him if it’s true that each one of you guys burp and fart about 200 pounds of methane gas each year. Then they asked if making a hamburger generates more than 4 times the amount of something called CO2 than a pulled-pork sandwich and 10 times more than a chick patty.
“Sounds to me like you might be in trouble, Bub. Apparently, it’s nasty to have too much of this methane and CO2 stuff in the air. When his customers left, their grocery bags weren’t very full. Makes no never mind to me, but I bet Brown is thinking about dumping you guys and picking up some pigs and chickens instead.” chuckled Starr as she flapped away.
As soon as Starr was out of sight, Rob Inn glided down in front of Chuck. “Cheer up! Cheer up!” he sang. “Oh be quiet. That’s what you always say, but you wouldn’t if you were in my… hooves,” Chuck sniffed. “Well, I heard what Starr told you. She’s so loud! But I think you actually do have reason to cheer up,” Rob replied.
“Here’s the rest of the story. Farmer Brown agreed that people should eat less beef; it’s healthier for folks and for the planet. But he also said the numbers they were asking about referred to national averages for food bought in fast food joints and sold in chain grocery stores. You guys are all grass-fed and don’t end up in huge feedlots. Beyond that, you’re certified by the Low Carbon Beef company. It measures stuff like Brown’s farm’s feeds, fuels, fertilizers, and cattle function, so he can charge extra for his products,” Rob chirped.
“I see,” Chuck nodded. “Ya gotta know your farmer and eat high-quality beef but less often. And take it from an herbivore - Eat More Greens! You’ll be healthier and so will our only home. It’s where we’re all forever… Earthbound.”
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