Audit-ioning for Uncle IRA
 
            Wanda could hardly contain herself!  She’d heard that Uncle IRA was in town with loads of money to dole out.  She knew her neighbor, Penny Smart, kept her eye on these things, so she invited Penny to tea.
            “Why Wanda Knowmor!” Penny gushed, “it’s so kind of you to invite me.  Land’s sake! Wait until you hear what I found out about Uncle IRA – (the Inflation Reduction Act).  I learned all about him on something called the CleanEnergy.gov website.”  “Mercy!” Wanda said as she poured Penny a second cup of tea. “Do tell!”
“Well,” Penny began, “you always hear me say, if you want to save money, get more efficient.  So finding the places in your home that are inefficient is the first thing to do.  Uncle  IRA agrees.  He’s got money and tax credits to give out, but to be able to use many of these benefits, you first have to have an energy audit done on your home.”
“What’s an energy audit?” Wanda asked. “Good question,” Penny continued. “A team of professionals give your house a sort of ‘energy health check-up’ to find air leaks, weather stripping and insulation gaps, inefficient appliances and such.  Then you get a report listing the least expensive ways to lower your energy costs.  It’ll also tell how to get all the tax credits and cash incentives IRA provides.  These credits and incentives are really generous.  They make many energy improvements practically free!  But the key is the energy audit.  It opens the door to a whole basketful of savings opportunities!” Penny concluded. “That’s all very exciting,” Wanda sniffed, “but it sounds complicated and expensive to do this audit thing.”
“Honestly,” Penny leaned in and lowered her voice, “here’s a little secret; folks in Iowa County are getting a special deal.  This spring, Iowa County Clean, Local Energy Alliance – Now (CLEA-N) is working with Green Homeowners United.  Using the tax credit, folks can get the audit, report and guidance all for less than $250.  Even better - for homes heated with propane, it’ll cost less than $100!  Just call this guy named Chuck at 608-930-3252 or drop him a note at [email protected] to learn more.”
“Sign me up!” Wanda practically squealed. “I want to save money and be a good steward too because this is our only home.  It’s where we’re all forever…Earthbound.”

             “But Great Grandmother Atoms, can’t you see I’m right?” Joy Numm pleaded.  Joy is an advocate for atomic fusion, the fusing together of atoms to generate electricity.  She’d been arguing with her cousin, Ima Splitter.  Ima supports atomic fission, the splitting apart of atoms, as the best way to supplement wind and solar for greenhouse gas-free electrical generation. “She just won’t listen, Gram!”  Joy protested.
            “These humans have gotten themselves into quite an energy muddle,” Gram thought to herself.  “Fossil fuels have been a relatively cheap and convenient source of energy for generations.  But burning them accelerates the warming of the atmosphere which then intensifies severe weather events.  Why in 2022 alone, there were18 severe weather events that cost the U.S. over $1 billion each!  (The 40-year average has been about 7 billion-dollar events a year.)  Even more are likely as the atmosphere warms further.  So penny-wise humans are racing to find ways to substitute clean energy alternatives for fossil fuels.  Some say the use of emissions-free nuclear energy should be part of the mix.  Should it?” she wondered.
             As Gram settled into her rocker, she asked the girls to lay out their arguments.  “To begin with,” Joy began, “nuclear fusion is safer than nuclear fission.  Fusion generates low-level waste that’s less radioactive and has a shorter lifespan than the waste from fission.  It doesn’t use the enriched uranium needed to make nuclear bombs.  And get this!  Nuclear scientists just made a huge technological breakthrough toward making fusion commercially feasible.  At least 35 private companies are investing over $5 billion to do so,” Joy beamed.
            “Promises, promises,” Ima interrupted.  “Remember Doc Brown’s 2015 ‘Mr. Fusion’ powered flying car in ‘Back to the Future’?  Hasn’t happened.  Meanwhile, humans need the reliable, always-on power that nuclear fission already generates every day around the world.  Sure, folks have every reason to be concerned about the safety of nuclear and of any fuel.  But natural gas facilities kill 70 times—and coal 600 times—as many people from air pollution and accidents as nuclear power generation does.  Even astronauts going to the moon use nuclear power!” Ima concluded.
            “Hmm… these humans have some tough decisions to make about atomic energy,” Gram mused. “But they’re clever problem solvers; they’ll find a way to protect their only home because where else would they live?  They’re forever…Earthbound.”