The big day was almost here.  St. Nick paced nervously while waiting for the department heads to gather for a status update.  “Are we going to be ready?” he anxiously asked his elfin assistants.
            Lottie Stuph wiggled on the edge of her seat waving her arm madly. “What have you got for us, Lottie?” Nick asked.  “Our advertising dept. has been going like gang-busters,” she beamed.  We’re blasting folks with messaging that says getting lots of new stuff is the key to happiness. People can hardly resist!  We’re stuffing the sleigh with…”  Lottie would have been happy to blather on had Nick not cut her off.
            “Okay, okay,” Nick said patiently. ”I’m actually more interested in hearing from the others.  Ty, you’re up.”  Ty Tinnup, the energy efficiency expert, reminded everyone that the least expensive, cleanest energy is energy that’s never generated or needed in the first place.  His crew was loading the sleigh with insulation and weatherization materials.
            The others reported in turn.  Dewey Droppe said his team was filling Nick’s sack with policies and practices to clean up pfas (so called “forever chemicals”) and nitrates from ground water.  Hugh Muss said his group was packing technological support and the cost structures needed to advance regenerative agriculture practices.  Cy Questration’s squad was stuffing Nick’s sack with strategies and funding to expand a range of options for pulling excess, harmful CO2 from the atmosphere.  St. Nick’s smile fairly glowed!
            “What about you two in the back?” Nick asked.  Polly and Pete sheepishly stepped forward.  “Er…we can’t pretend otherwise,” Polly Ethylene began. “Plastics have kind of overdone it.  Now, unfortunately, microplastics are sprinkled throughout every environment on Earth.  So, we’re tucking in technology for cleaning up plastic waste.”
           “And speaking of overdoing it,” Pete Rollium blushed, “we’re just as guilty.  Petroleum products really do need to be reined in.  We’re loading the sleigh with incentives and the know-how for businesses, organizations and everyday folks to transition to economical, clean energy sources.”
            “Ho, Ho, Ho,” Nick chuckled. “I love delivering toys to children.  But what really tickles my tummy are the heartfelt, non-material gifts folks give each other.  I especially love those that help build a healthy world teaming with life here at the North Pole and everywhere.  Because this is the only home any of us will ever know.  It’s where we’re all forever …Earthbound.”

            Anita flipped her pocketbook open as she trudged through the shopping center.  Her folding money was disappearing quickly, and she’d almost reached her credit card limit.  “There’s gottta be a way to spend less,” Anita Savemorre grumbled.  Looking up, she spotted a tiny shop.  The people inside were scanning computer screens and reading displays.  “Can I help you?” Phil Yerpig-Banc asked. “What is this place?  Where’s all your stuff?’’ Anita asked. 
            “Oh,” Phil beamed, “we don’t sell stuff; we sell savings.  Like most folks, you probably spend a boatload of money on heating your home. And, you probably assume it’s too expensive to do anything about it.  We’re here to show you that for little or no cost, you can make your home cozier and lower your energy bills at the same time.”
            “Oh sure! What are you, some kind of magic shop?”  Anita almost laughed. “Not at all,” Phil replied.  “It’s simply a matter of smart economics.”
            Phil explained that tax credits and rebates from the recently passed Inflation Reduction Act allow moderate to low-income folks to dramatically lower their energy bills for little or no cost.  Homeowners can save hundreds of energy dollars through a step-by-step plan to sort of “max-out” the available tax credits and rebates for home improvements one year after the next.  Items covered include insulation, over-all weatherizing, window replacement, heat pump heating/cooling systems and much more.
            “But the important first step is to get a home energy audit.  It’s required to be eligible for many of these offers.  The good news is that this spring, Green Homeowners United (GHU) and Iowa County Clean, Local Energy Alliance – Now! (CLEA-N) will provide a professional energy assessment by GHU’s Green Team at the discounted price of $150.  But CLEA-N’s funds will cover only a limited number of Iowa County area homes on a first come basis.  Contact Chuck* if you’d like to be notified when this offer opens in February.
            “The energy assessment will provide homeowners with a comprehensive report on what kinds of improvements would provide the greatest savings for the lowest costs.  GHU will explain how to cash-in on state and federal rebates and tax credits,” Phil concluded.
            “It’s not magic at all!”  Anita smiled, “Lower costs, fewer harmful emissions, greater comfort.  We can have it all right here where we’re all forever …Earthbound.”
 
* [email protected]