…And now it’s time for “Philmz on Films” our weekly movie review by Iowa County’s very own Seymore Philmz!
“It’s summer blockbuster time, and a thriller is coming your way soon!  Many of you will remember the 1978 sci-fi classic movie ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers.’  This latest spin-off takes our heroine, Wanda Koollov, on a globe-trotting adventure that’s sure to send chills up your spine!

       “The opening scene finds Wanda mopping perspiration from her brow in … Fairbanks, Alaska of all places!  Staring longingly at distant frozen mountain peaks, Wanda wonders how she’s ended up overheated in this northern clime.  She flashes back to her teenage self – Christmas 1984.  While snow gently falls outside, teenaged Wanda practices Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ dance moves in her bedroom.  As she ‘moonwalks’ down the hallway, the insidious chill snatching invasion’s tentacles are already grasping at all of Earth’s inhabitants!

       “Hopping back to 2018…Wanda leaps from adventure to adventure; each scene closes with Wanda haunted by the sensation that temperatures are slowly rising.  Little does she know that the ‘chill’ of the Earth is being methodically snatched from the atmosphere in a tenacious torrid trend.  The audience soon learns (Spoiler Alert!) that ever since that happy Christmas of her youth – exactly 400 months ago – across the globe, EVERY month’s temperatures have been above average!  And no wonder.  For hundreds of thousands of years carbon dioxide has acted like earth’s atmospheric blanket.  As such, it has averaged 275 parts per million(ppm).  Today, it’s much denser - a whooping 410 ppm!
 
       “This film is being released in Blu-ray format and includes the popular feature to ‘choose your own ending’ from three available screenplays. 

       “Ending ‘A’ – Earth’s inhabitants never really grapple with the reality that the ‘chill snatchers’ are not some alien invaders but humans themselves, releasing excessive greenhouse gasses by burning fossil fuels.  Temperatures continue to climb, forest fires and extreme weather events increase, the oceans rise, coral reefs bleach, and Wanda Koollov never does get to cool off.

       “Ending ‘B’ – Aliens extract Earth’s excess warmth to create energy for their spacecraft.  Temperatures return to normal.  Wanda becomes a dance instructor and marries her high school sweetheart.

       “Ending ‘C’ – Earth’s inhabitants responsibly take on the challenge of addressing the rising temperatures. Earth’s greenhouse gasses slowly revert to ‘humanity-friendly’ levels on this, our only home, where we're forever…Earthbound.”

         Alan Underdog dragged his protest sign across the barroom floor and settled on to the first open stool.  After a couple long pulls on his brew, Al glanced over and noticed that one of the two women he was seated next to was just leaving.  That left Lucy Likely nursing her drink next to him.

        Soon Al was pouring out his sorrows to Lucy.  “I try so hard to help build a healthy environment!  For example, I’ve been protesting across the street for a week now.  But it seems like no matter how compelling our message is, the politicians just won’t listen,” Al lamented.

        “Poor boy,” Lucy patted his hand.  “You know, I’m an activist too, and maybe I’ve just been lucky, but my friends and I have actually had some success with our issues.  And you know what?  I think it’s because we have…”  She looked over both shoulders and then lowered her voice. “We have a secret power.” Lucy winked and then whispered, “We vote.”

       Well, as you can imagine, Alan burst into a tirade about how just one vote is practically meaningless and blah, blah, blah.  Once his rant subsided, Lucy calmly set her smart phone on the bar and said, “Okay Mr. Underdog. Let’s look at your issue.”  It only took a brief on-line search to find a promising website.  “Let’s see what the Environmental Voter Project* has to say.”

       What they found was startling!  First, they learned that many environmentalists work diligently on issues but never bother to actually vote.  Almost 16 million of them didn’t cast a ballot in the 2014 election!  Most amazing of all was why, as a voter, Lucy has “secret sway.”  When Lucy votes, it becomes public record that she’s done so.  If she votes again, she becomes a “likely voter.”  Consider this - if politicians want to get re-elected, the ONLY citizens they care about are “likely voters.”  In 2016 polling, “likely voters” ranked climate change / environmentalism only 15th out of 19 issues.  But if those other 16 million folks became “Likelies” that ranking would climb dramatically and politicians would take notice.

       Lucy Likely’s secret sway over politicians is no secret at all; it’s simply THE basic tenet of a democracy.  So, VOTE like our lives depend on it because they do, here on our only home where we’re forever…Earthbound.
*www.environmentalvoter.org

           “…and that’s how this straw got wedged up my nose,” complained Celia Sea Turtle.  Dr. Bea Wiser was exasperated with the increasing number of plastics-related maladies afflicting her ocean-dwelling patients.  Lately, she’d been treating a rash of plastic straw injuries.  So she listened intently as Celia went on to tell the bizarre tale of how Frankenstraw came to life.

            “It all began in 1888 when Marvin C. Stone created the first model of a modern drinking straw,” related Celia.  “Then when Joseph Friedman invented the ‘bendy’ straw in 1937 things really began to take off.  But it wasn’t until the 1960s with the development of cheap plastic drinking straws that Frankenstraw drew his first breath.

            “Before that time people didn’t think twice about drinking any beverage the same way humankind has done since the dawn of civilization, by putting one’s lips to the cup.  But single-use plastic straws were a novel and convenient way to cheaply enhance a drink.  Soon straw dispensers were popping up at every drink service area.  Beverage servers routinely dropped a straw into almost any type of drink and Frankenstraw’s influence spread across the globe.

            “No one seemed to question the wisdom of using this insignificant item just one time and then tossing it into the trash.  But now in the U.S., Frankenstraw has swelled to about 500 million straws (1.6 straws per person) each day!  Iowa Co. alone throws away about 38,000 on a daily basis.  Now Frankenstraw’s influence is EVERYWHERE, even in my poor little nose,” lamented Celia.

            Bea Wiser carefully extracted the painful intruder* from Celia’s suffering nostril.  “What can be done?” she asked Ms. Turtle.

            “A lot actually,” Celia instructed.  “First of all, humans need to simply ask for no straw when ordering a drink.  Businesses need to add "Straws served upon request" notices in their menus.  Some companies are already starting to develop eco-friendly drinking straws.  When humans become aware of how wasteful and damaging these plastic projectiles are, Frankenstraw’s days will be numbered.  Soon some clever manufacturing firm is going to make a bundle marketing the ‘latest thing’… biodegradable straws.

            “Do you think the humans will actually change their ways?” Celia wondered.

            “I hope so.  They’re smart, and they really have to,” Bea Wiser (sighed).  “Because this is the only home we’ll ever share with them.  We’re here with them forever…Earthbound.”

*Actual footage - www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MPHbpmP6_I  

             Know any 5th graders?  Hard to believe but they’ll celebrate high school graduation in 2025!  Now, imagine Prof. Tony Seba* world-renowned author, educator and Stanford University instructor giving the commencement address.  It might go something like this.

            “Graduates – congratulations for having been born into a singularly unique 18-year period in the history of humankind.  What’s so unusual about these 18 years?  When you were born, a widely-viewed climate change documentary film had just been released.  Suddenly, the potentially devastating climatic effects of burning fossil fuels become a reality to millions of Earth’s inhabitants.  It was a concept so overwhelming that addressing it seemed nearly impossible.  Fossil fuels powered practically everything.  How would we possibly prosper without them?

             But as you know, we’re well on our way to doing so.  And you’ve had a front row seat as the solution unfolded.  Just as you developed from early childhood through your pre-teens and now into early adulthood, so too, a new clean energy system matured.

            Your parents experienced a similar bold transformation. Theirs was in communication and information.  Imagine, when they were children they were taught “computer skills” with humongous “desktop” computers that required manual input on a keyboard.  When they were about your age the smart phone era began permitting instant communication and information anytime anywhere.  Landline phones and printed encyclopedia sets became obsolete.  And now, how primitive they seem compared to the technology we’re blessed with in 2025. 

            The same type of “market disruption” happened with clean energy during your lifetime.  As a young child, you may remember the novelty of seeing a neighbor install solar panels or of riding in a hybrid car that was partially battery powered.  But like the computer, solar energy generation and battery storage technology grew exponentially.  As you began high school in 2021 we reached an energy “tipping point.”  That’s when local solar-plus-battery-storage energy systems world-wide became less expensive than ANY centrally generated and transmitted energy source.  Industrial scale energy generation and transmission became obsolete.  Like smart phones, this clean energy paradigm is sweeping the globe powering homes and vehicles.   As you celebrate your graduation, the last internal combustion engine factory is shuttering its doors.

            Over the course of your lifetime a frightening, seemingly insurmountable energy challenge is being met with clean energy right here, on the only home you’ll ever know where you’re forever…Earthbound.”

   *Learn more -  www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxryv2XrnqM

            Dewey Droppe was having the time of his life as stormy winds hurled him across the Midwest.  With trillions of his buddies Dewey wreaked havoc on Louisville in a deluge that caused extensive flooding during the wettest February ever recorded. Then it was down the storm drain and out into the raging Ohio River.  Dewey washed down the Mississippi and spilled into the Gulf of Mexico. What a ride! 
 
            Lounging there for a few days, Dewey waited to get picked up by the Gulf Stream when the excitement would begin again.  Sure enough, a few days later he felt that tentative tug and was drawn toward the current.  “Oh boy! Now for a speedy ride around Florida, up the Eastern Seaboard, and into the icy climes of the Arctic Ocean,” he mused.
 
            But after a day or so, Dewey knew something was wrong; he was barely moving at all.  The anticipated rush of droplets all jostling ahead of one another was more like a molasses slick languidly lolling toward the Florida coast.  
 
            “What’s going on?” Dewey wondered when suddenly… SWOOSH!  Without warning, Dewey was scooped aboard a passing ship, ogled under a microscope, and shelved inside a beaker.  Even more strange, as chance would have it, the crew members were asking themselves that very same question – why was this normally swift current moving so slowly?
 
           The oceanographers aboard this research vessel were investigating the mysteriously slowing North Atlantic Current and wondering if it had anything to do with extreme weather events like the recent Louisville storms.  Dewey learned that the Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation (AMOC) is the “conveyor belt” of the ocean that exchanges warm equatorial water with cold water from the Arctic.  But today this temperature exchange is happening at a lower rate than any time in the past few thousand years most likely because of the torrent of fresh water melting off the Greenland ice sheet.  If the slowing continues and reaches a tipping point, the AMOC could simply shut down with potentially dramatic and unwelcome changes in the climate.
 
           “So this lazy current and the increase of extreme weather events ARE connected!  A warming atmosphere accelerates both of them,” Dewey realized. “Seems like these humans could save themselves a lot of grief by taking action to slow that warming.  After all, this is their only home where they’re forever…Earthbound.”

           Joe ambled to the trash can, deposited his lunch sack, and ceremoniously tossed in the banana he decided not to eat.  That simple act precipitated a teachable moment that, I dare say, imprinted an indelible lesson on a classroom full of students.
            Joe was a 4th grader in tiny Chiniak School, 41 miles down the gravel road from the city of Kodiak, Alaska where Karen and I taught.  Infuriated by that wasteful act, Karen applied her ire to the white board where she sketched out the journey that lowly banana had taken.  From a tree somewhere in Central America to a shipping facility then trucked to some seaport.  Up the west coast to Seattle then shipped to Anchorage for a barge ride to the Kodiak dock.  By truck to the Safeway grocer, tastefully displayed, purchased by Joe’s dad, driven to Chiniak, and packed into Joe’s lunch only to have this precious commodity cavalierly tossed aside without a second thought.
            We can excuse a 10-year old’s unwitting use of a resource, but (spoiler alert – this is about you and me!) our “adult” resource-use slate isn’t all that clean either.  Get this.  Almost 2/3s of the energy used in the U.S. to generate electricity vanishes before a single watt reaches our homes, businesses, and factories.  All because of “conversion loss.”  That is, the transmission and then the conversion of electricity to the proper voltage and such so it’s accessible for our use. 
           More than half of U.S. electrical generation still comes from burning greenhouse gas producing coal and natural gas.  So we’re expelling all those fumes, and only about 1/3 of that energy reaches our homes as electricity.  It’s an environmentally expensive commodity similar to Joe’s banana.  Yet it’s so easy for all of us (and I’m not excluding myself here) to frivolously expend that remaining precious 1/3.  We may not be so different than that ill-informed 10 yr. old after all.
            What to do?  Look around.  If we all treated that electricity as the precious commodity it is, we’d find simple ways to lower our homes’ electrical usage.  (Check out - www.bchydro.com/21tips)
          Beyond that, imagine clean, renewable energy locally generated and distributed using cost-competitive technology that’s already available.  We’d cut the 60% energy loss down to single digits.   After all, our resources are too precious to waste, here where we’re forever…Earthbound.

              Stu ambled down the drive on a balmy Sunday morn.  “What a beautiful time of year,” he smiled to himself.  “The song birds are returning and green shoots are just beginning to show their faces.”  He retrieved the Sunday paper and settled in with a cup of joe.

            But his peaceful reverie was shaken by an article on the front page.  A landmark study, “Food, Land and Water: Moving Forward”, painted a disturbing picture of the decline of water quality in Wisconsin.  Manure and fertilizer runoff is making drinking water a health hazard for nearly 100,000 families, and it’s polluting parts of more than 1,000 Wisconsin lakes and streams.  The excessive weed and algae growth and the bacteria can close beaches and kill fish.  Perhaps most disturbing is the fact that gains made more than a decade ago are being erased because of lack of funding and cuts in human resources. 

             “What are we doing to ourselves?” Stu wondered aloud.  “Destroying one of our most precious resources for the short-term gain of saving a few bucks!”  Stu stewed all week.  The following Sunday, he approached the mailbox with just the slightest bit of hesitation as he remembered the unsettling article that dampened his spirits last time.
 
              But as Stu settled in with his steaming cup he was delighted to find an article about a homegrown hero.  Gary Zimmer, local farmer and founder of Midwestern BioAg, was featured in an article about his pioneering work in soil regeneration and large-scale organic farming.  The article detailed his current project to convert nearly 53 square miles of marginal South Dakota soil into water-conserving, nutrient-rich, organic fields.

              “Zimmer’s methods seem like a kind of antidote to the practices that are causing the increasing water problems plaguing Wisconsin,” Stu murmured.
                                               
               That evening, while tucking his daughter into bed he noticed her calendar. “Huh,” he said to himself.  “Next Sunday is Earth Day, a day to reflect on our relationship with this planet.  What is it we truly value – a few dollars today or a thriving environment on into the future?” he questioned while watching his daughter snuggle in.  “We’ve been given this simple gift – clean water, healthy soil and fresh air, making us all stewards of the Earth.  It’s ours to both enjoy and to safeguard because our only home is right here where we’re forever…Earthbound.”

     
            Art Tick shuffled slowly into the clinic.  This past winter had been a miserable flop.  His ice was far less expansive and much thinner than even a few short years ago.  Arty hadn’t felt this out of sync for 10,000 years when he was just wrapping up the ice age.  But at that time the unusual sensation was invigorating; he was a super cold, powerful, dominating presence.  Now it’s just the opposite.  Feverish and weak, Arty has lost much of his vitality. 

            Doc Cy Entist escorted him into the examination room, and Arty poured out his symptoms: lack of ice, excessive cloud cover, occasional fog and rain instead of snow, an erratic jet stream that swings wildly in huge dips south then back north causing wacko weather in the mid-latitudes below the polar region.  “Doc, instead of reliable sub-zero temps all winter, some days my temperature actually climbed above freezing – IN WINTER!” Art cried.  “Ya gotta be straight with me Doc.  I’m not going to lose all my ice this summer, am I?”

            “Cool down,” Cy Entist cautioned, “or in a few decades you might.  Here’s the reality Art Tick.  We’ve got to get you stabilized, or we’ll all be in trouble.  Your frozen ice pack is a major factor in the relatively reliable weather patterns we’ve had since the ice age.   If you lose too much more ice, it’s a crap-shoot as to where we’ll end up.

            “Arty,” Doc continued, “you’ve got a classic case of carbon overload.  You’re carrying way too much CO2 in your water and air.  That carbon needs to be put back into the soil where it will do some good.  Wise farmers can help with proper soil management.  Meanwhile, I’m putting you on a low CO2 diet and prescribing a strong dose of CF&D.*  It’ll make you feel better, and the CF&D will help those poor blokes in the mid-latitudes of the U.S. whose weather you’re messing with.  Besides slowing the accumulation of atmospheric carbon, it’ll give most of them a little extra cash to ‘weather the storm’, shall we say?

            “Because if you continue on this path, there’s no telling how wacko our weather might get.  After all, this is the only home we’ll ever know; we’re here forever…Earthbound.
 
*Carbon Fee & Dividend legislation would pay cash dividends to every American household.  Learn more at CtizensClimateLobby.org

           As the balmy spring sun warmed the garden soil, Elmer and Ethel Earthworm worked their way to the surface.  Ahh… the dawn of a new season!  “I’ll check to see what mail’s arrived over the winter,” Elmer called.  Along with the seed catalogs was a letter from Ethel’s cousin Louie from Alabama.  It read:

          “Dear Northern Cousin, How’s life in the beautiful Driftless Region?  I hope spring is beginning to show her face.  Down here human folks are already tilling up our tunnels; gardening season has begun.

        “I sure hope you can avoid the ruckus we had here last year!  Some new worms moved into the neighborhood.  Strange, kinda twitchy folks – jerking this way, hoppin’ that way.  Made me nervous!  And EAT!  They plowed through the leaf litter like there was no tomorrow.  Strange looking too!  Their clitellum* is milky white or light gray, and it’s smooth and completely encircles their bodies.  Weird!  Anyway, I was just wondering if you’d seen any of these folks up your way. Well, gotta go.  Happy tunnelin’, Loamy Louie.”

        Just as they finished reading, the county extension agent’s car pulled in.  The friendly agent handed Farmer Jones a pamphlet and told him about the very worm described in Louie’s letter.  What a coincidence!

          She said this invasive new worm species from Southeast Asia had inadvertently been transported to the southern U.S.   People call them “jumping worms” or “Alabama Jumpers” because they writhe violently or even jump when disturbed.  And like any invasive species, they can have a huge impact on the local ecology.

        Devouring the organic matter on the forest floor, they leave behind a very loose, nutrient-poor soil that inhibits the growth of new seedling, native plants, and fungi.  Any one worm can reproduce on its own without a mate, so they can spread fast wreaking environmental havoc as they go.

        She told Jones that jumping worms have been found in Wisconsin too. To prevent accidently spreading the tiny cocoons be careful not to move debris or dirty tools to another area.  When shopping, carefully inspect plants and gardening materials and only buy sterilized or properly heat-treated compost.

        “I sure hope Jones and the other humans follow her directions,” Ethel sighed.  “Heaven knows we need a stable eco-system here on the only home we’ll ever know, where we’re forever…Earthbound.”

*clitellum - the band around the worm’s body

         Davey Driftless has a giant to slay.  (Well, that’s a bit harsh; let’s say he has a giant to drive off.)  Like his namesake from thousands of years ago, his chances of prevailing seem slim. The David of ancient times was aided only by his sling and five smooth stones.  But these are not ancient times, and today’s Davey has a not-so-secret weapon…alphabet soup?!?

            Davey’s “Goliath” is a huge multimillion-dollar corporation.  This ATC / ITC giant plans to run over him with a 120 mile long industrial-scale transmission line benignly named – Cardinal-Hickory Creek.  This costly project would severely impact the culture and atmosphere that make him an exceptional place.  If this project were truly needed, that would be one thing.  But justifications for this monstrosity are crumbling as 21st century technology and efficiencies rapidly reinvent our energy generation and distribution systems.  Could it be that ATC / ITC’s main motivation is to rake in the guaranteed 10% profit on a half-billion-dollar project?

            When this corporate Goliath first reared its head, Davey was disorganized and vulnerable.  But with a virtual alphabet soup of allies, D. Driftless has transformed himself from a weak push-over into a strapping, organized entity able to take on this hulking adversary.  So what’s in this brawny alphabet broth?

         Davey’s brew began with a foundation of SOUL providing local experience and expertise.  Then he added a dollop of DD for energy and commitment.  ELPC and DALC were carefully whisked in for expertise and endurance.  A generous helping of IMEPC adds diversity, while healthy portions of WDPC and GCSC spice up the increasingly powerful concoction.

         Amply fortified, Davey has given Goliath pause.  No longer a weak push-over, Davey challenges this giant to prove to the public his proposal’s worth.  But as the fallacies justifying ATC / ITC’s scheme become increasingly clear, the behemoth is scrambling to push his plan forward before the Driftless Area public grows too wary.

        Our precious Driftless Area is not the place for a huge, outmoded infrastructure.  More efficient, less expensive alternatives would provide a brighter future, here where we’re forever…Earthbound.

Glossary:
ATC / ITC – American Transmission Co. & ITC Midwest
DALC – Driftless Area Land Conservancy
DD – Driftless Defenders
ELPC – Environmental Law & Policy Center
GCSC – Grant County Steering Committee
IMEPC – Inter-Municipal Energy Planning Committee
SOUL – Save Our Unique Land
WDPC – Western Dane Preservation Campaign