All summer Principal Katumm had been considering various themes for the coming school year. He finally settled on one to share with his staff on the first day of in-service – “Don’t Take Things for Granted.”

      Reading about a couple of ominous developments - one hopefully temporary and the other long-term prompted this idea.  They both reminded him to appreciate each new morning and to embrace the blessings that it brings because there are no guarantees about tomorrow. 

     Recent “saber rattling” between nuclear powers could lead to the disruption of the stability of our world in a matter of minutes.  And equally concerning in the long-term is that Earth is likely entering the “Sixth Extinction” with the potential of losing three-quarters of all living species.  It’s not an asteroid, ice age, or excessive volcanic activity causing this; it’s the explosion of human population.  As we 7.4 billion humans expand our geographic footprint and increasingly extract resources we crowd out other species.  Scary stuff, but also the kind of “teachable opportunity” that Principal Ed U. Katumm relishes.

     “The world is changing rapidly. It’s our responsibility to help our students understand these challenges and opportunities.  Consider the dramatic changes in our own lifetimes like cell phones instead of landlines and LED lights that use 1/6 the electricity of old-fashioned incandescent bulbs.  Just think, this morning my plug-in hybrid car transported me to school powered only by the solar panels on my own home. This is stuff my dear departed dad would have considered science fiction,” Principal Katumm continued.

      He went on to list a few of the promising opportunities he predicted their students would help develop.  “Imagine, by 2040 Hawaii plans to be powered 100% by renewable energy.  That’s also the year Britain will ban the sale of new gas and diesel-powered vehicles.  Our students will be the ones developing and benefitting from a whole new clean energy revolution.  The future is already here!

     “Our charge is to not just teach our students the technical skills needed to participate in the development of these new opportunities.  Even more important, they must understand the peril in taking for granted the beautifully complex web of life that supports us.  Without vigilance and stewardship we may lose much that is dear to us all here on the only home we’ll ever know where we’re forever… Earthbound.”  

       A pragmatist, an economist, and the leader of a developing country walked into a bar.  The pragmatist, Bea Practickle, said, “We’ll never move people to take action to slow climate change because many think it won’t be a problem until far into the future.  They’re more concerned about the here and now.”

       The economist, Mark Ettplace, said, “Besides, Congress will never approve more regulations, especially if lawmakers think that would slow the economy.” 
 
       The leader, Wanda Xpand, said, “And we developing countries won’t agree to limit our use of fossil fuels because that might slow our growth.”  The sorry-looking trio slouched over their drinks.

       Bartenders have an ear for sad stories and Lemmy had heard hundreds.  He didn’t want his patrons to associate misery with his establishment, so Lemmy Fixxit announced,  “Cheer up folks.  I’m mixing a shaker-full of my specialty; next round’s on me!”  No one knows what goes into Lemmy’s specialty, but it worked like magic.  By closing time these three were singing their way out the door and clapping each other on the back.

       “Folks are going to love this because HERE AND NOW they’d start receiving monthly dividend checks totaling about $2,000 a year for a family of four,” chirped Bea.  “Congress will go for it too,” smiled Mark, “because the government won’t be telling folks what to do.  The market place will drive innovation and energy conservation.”  Wanda added, “And we developing countries will jump in so that other countries will pay US a border adjustment fee instead of us paying them.”   Lemmy smiled knowing this “magic mixture” of ideas would also dramatically lower CO2 emissions and slow climate change.

       Remarkably, their concoction-inspired plan closely resembles the Republicans’ own proposed “Conservative Case for Carbon Dividends.”  It includes:

• A gradually rising fee on carbon fuels (about 30 cents/gal. for gas to start)
• Monthly dividends immediately paid to every American household so that the least wealthy 70% come out financially ahead
• A gradual rollback of current emission regulations
• A carbon border adjustment on imports from counties that don’t have a similar carbon fee

        Lemmy’s special concoction is not really magic and neither is this plan.  It’s a golden opportunity for the current Congress and administration to demonstrate that by implementing traditional conservative values the economy can grow while a more livable world is created right here where we’re forever… Earthbound.

       After flirting for several months and dancing together a few times, Heathcliff decided it was time to take the plunge.  He hunted all morning for the shiniest mackerel he could find and scooped it up. Gertrude was nestled down on the beach when he dropped it in front of her.  She only played coy for a moment then gobbled it down accepting his proposal.

       These two albatrosses had been born on tiny, non-descript Pacific islands, so they knew almost nothing about the creatures some of their friends referred to as “humans.”  They’d occasionally seen floating vessels on the far horizon – inventions of the humans, so they’d been told.   Gertrude and Heathcliff were intrigued.  So when planning their honeymoon they decided to check out this human-creature during a Hawaiian Island excursion.

       One night just before reaching the archipelago they rode out a storm on the waves.  The next morning they spied one of these human vessels, but it appeared to be disabled.  Its sails were torn, and it listed to one side.  The couple circled high above for hours until another human vessel arrived just as the first one slipped under the water.  “Ah,” said Heathcliff,  “these creatures have compassion for one another.”

       As they flew toward one of the larger islands they saw cultivated fields and well-constructed dwellings.  “I see these humans are an industrious species,” noted Gertrude.  And when they reached the metropolis of Honolulu they were amazed.  “Humans are surely a wise and magnificent species to create such grandeur,” marveled Healthcliff.

       Then eager for some time alone, they headed for an uninhabited isle - Henderson Island.  It had been listed as a “near pristine” World Heritage Site in 1988 – perfect!  But as they were about to alight they were shocked to find the beaches smothered with plastic trash. * 

       “I don’t get it,” Gertrude pondered.  “How can these intelligent, compassionate creatures permit this to happen?  Don’t they understand that the very core of their prosperity and security is drawn from a balanced and healthy eco-system?  I hope the human drive to expand doesn’t exceed the wisdom needed to care for this home because we’re right here with them forever…Earthbound.” 
 
       * By a fluke of ocean currents, about 3,500 pieces of plastic refuse wash up onto Henderson Island’s beaches each day. It’s currently identified as having the highest trash density ever recorded!

       Wanda Lottsmore and Grant M.E. Lottsmore had a sweet life.  They got along with everyone and seemed like sensible folks.  But that all changed the Night of the Cherry Pie.

       Grant loved Wanda’s pies, so when he smelled that cherry pie baking he couldn’t help himself.  That evening he cut himself a piece half-again-as-big as he normally would have enjoyed.  Wanda did the same, and they loved it!  They were so satisfied that they both resolved to live a “half-again-as-much” lifestyle.

       The next morning Grant fixed his special scrambled eggs for breakfast.  He thought they’d be even better if he made them with half-again-as-much salt and pepper.  Wanda pretended to enjoy them but scraped most of her eggs into the dog dish – ugh!
       After breakfast the Lottsmores went shopping.  Wanda bought a new hat half-again-as-big as her usual size.  Grant reasoned that if size 10 shoes were comfortable imagine how much better shoes half-again-as-big would be!  So he bought a pair of size 15s.  Wanda and Grant looked like circus clowns as they strolled out of the mall.  That evening their tongues burned as they choked down a Mexican dinner with half-again-as-many jalapeno peppers.

       At bedtime they sweltered trying to sleep under half-again-as-many blankets, and Wanda had the strangest dream.  An evil, alien, adolescent brat was given an earth-like planet to play with by his super-intelligent but heartless uncle.  He’d studied the history of the planet that was populated by carbon-based life forms and noted that for tens of thousands of years (ever since the human-like life form was present) the atmospheric carbon averaged 280 parts per million (ppm).

       “So they like carbon do they?” the brat squealed.  “Even the plants breath it in.  Let’s see how they’d like half-again-as-much!  Nyah ah ah!”  He added more and more carbon dioxide (CO2) until there was about 420 ppm.  All that extra CO2 acted just like the additional blanket on the Lottsmores’ bed making it hot and uninviting.

       Wanda woke up in a sweaty fever and thought, “Having too much of a good thing, even carbon – the stuff we and plants are made of - can ruin things.  When it’s added quickly (in geological terms) to the atmosphere it disrupts the ecological stability that has been in place for thousands of years throwing things out of whack right here where we’re forever… Earthbound.”