Dewey Droppe, world-traveling water molecule, lazed in Gov. Dodge State Park’s Cox Hollow Lake.  Sure enough, he soon bumped into his greenish acquaintance, Al Jaye, who was languidly floating (and freely procreating) with his billions of cousins.

         “Looks like you’re having another good year,” Dewey remarked. “You bet,” replied Al.  “All that good nitrogen and phosphorous run-off from the fertilizer on folks’ lawns and farmers’ fields feeds us well.  As you can see (or NOT see so clearly, Har, Har!) we’ve pretty much infiltrated the whole lake.  So many tasty nutrients!  The swimmers  put up with the cloudy water and don’t complain too much.”  Al Jaye smiled.

            Dewey continued to float along wondering if humans shouldn’t be more careful about spewing excess nutrients when suddenly - ZOOP!  Eve Aporation gathered Dewey up, and he was once again floating in the atmosphere.  Where to? Only chance and weather’s foibles would determine.

            Days later Dewey found himself crowded together with billions of his siblings in a thunderhead billowing over the New Mexican desert.  He could sense that he’d soon rain down, so checking his GPS Dewey discovered he was over the Black River Recreation Area.
 
          “Oh no!” sighed Dewey. “I’ll probably end up in some muddy desert water hole.”  But to his great relief, he rained down into a clear, deep desert pool.  By some amazing quirk of fate, three swimmers Dewey knew from the Cox Hollow lake were enjoying a dip.  He heard them marvel at how surprisingly clear and clean the water was.  “Well,” one speculated, “there aren’t any large-scale farms or fertilized lawns within miles.  Guess we shouldn’t be surprised that the water stays so clean.”

        Dewey thoroughly enjoyed his brief stay in this watery “desert dessert.”  But with the hot sun’s help, Eve quickly snatched Dewey up again.  As he sailed along, he realized the folks in Wisconsin didn’t have to settle for lakes loaded with Al Jaye and his kin.  Clear, clean, excess-nutrient-free water is a real possibility that can become a reality for Wisconsin waters.

        These days, farmers have high-tech means by which to carefully monitor and apply adequate, but not excessive fertilizers.  Home-owners can re-assess their use of lawn chemicals that get poured into our fragile environment.  Clearly, clean water is not only a blessing but also our responsibility on this, our only home where we’re all forever… Earthbound.

        Welcome to the Solar System’s favorite reality TV show - The World’s Biggest Loser!  Our contestants have been isolated on Planet Earth with the task of finding the most promising ways to reduce CO2 emissions by the year 2050.  Excessive CO2 and other greenhouse gasses are intensifying climate disasters to the tune of $145 billion in damages in 2021 in the United States alone!
 
        Surprisingly, three early favorites are not among the finalists.  That is, they are not the very best ways to reduce CO2 emissions.  So we say, “Thanks for your good work and keep it up!” to Electra Carr, Ray Cycling, and Bill D’Composter.   All three have pledged to continue their critical roles as part of Earth’s efforts to “Stay Cool Bro!”  But our judges* have determined the 3 remaining finalists could be far more effective if implemented world-wide.  And here they are!  Which one could be - The World’s Biggest (CO2) Loser?
 
        “Who can resist the aroma of meat sizzling on the grill?”  Philmore began. “But we’d all be healthier and Earth would stay cooler if our plates were mostly filled with plant foods.  I’ve shown that my proposal would be almost 5 times as effective as the combined work of Electra, Ray, and Bill in reducing carbon emissions,” beamed Philmore Greenbowls.
 
        “Quite impressive!” Les Chowwaste admitted. “But frankly, earthlings would do even better by improving food management and reducing food waste.  My plan tops Philmore’s;  it’s about 6 times as effective as Electra’s and the other’s combined efforts.”

        Our last finalist has been secluded from all the other contestants.  Until now, only our judges have known her true identity.  I think you’ll be surprised, so please welcome Ms. Teary!

        “Most people don’t realize the potential power women would have in reducing the harmful effects of climate change.  Expanding both educational opportunities and family planning for women worldwide would empower us to be a dynamic force in stabilizing our societies and fostering environmental health.  Give us the resources, and we’ll show you we can be as effective as Les Chowwaste’s program,” Ms. Teary proudly exclaimed.

        It’s no mystery.  Now’s the time to promote these 3 climate-friendly concepts - expanding plant-based diets,  better food management and improved education and family planning for women.  After all, this is our only home; it’s where we’re all forever… Earthbound.

* Project Drawdown