Welcome to the Solar System’s favorite reality TV show - The World’s Biggest Loser! Our contestants have been isolated on Planet Earth with the task of finding the most promising ways to reduce CO2 emissions by the year 2050. Excessive CO2 and other greenhouse gasses are intensifying climate disasters to the tune of $145 billion in damages in 2021 in the United States alone!
Surprisingly, three early favorites are not among the finalists. That is, they are not the very best ways to reduce CO2 emissions. So we say, “Thanks for your good work and keep it up!” to Electra Carr, Ray Cycling, and Bill D’Composter. All three have pledged to continue their critical roles as part of Earth’s efforts to “Stay Cool Bro!” But our judges* have determined the 3 remaining finalists could be far more effective if implemented world-wide. And here they are! Which one could be - The World’s Biggest (CO2) Loser?
“Who can resist the aroma of meat sizzling on the grill?” Philmore began. “But we’d all be healthier and Earth would stay cooler if our plates were mostly filled with plant foods. I’ve shown that my proposal would be almost 5 times as effective as the combined work of Electra, Ray, and Bill in reducing carbon emissions,” beamed Philmore Greenbowls.
“Quite impressive!” Les Chowwaste admitted. “But frankly, earthlings would do even better by improving food management and reducing food waste. My plan tops Philmore’s; it’s about 6 times as effective as Electra’s and the other’s combined efforts.”
Our last finalist has been secluded from all the other contestants. Until now, only our judges have known her true identity. I think you’ll be surprised, so please welcome Ms. Teary!
“Most people don’t realize the potential power women would have in reducing the harmful effects of climate change. Expanding both educational opportunities and family planning for women worldwide would empower us to be a dynamic force in stabilizing our societies and fostering environmental health. Give us the resources, and we’ll show you we can be as effective as Les Chowwaste’s program,” Ms. Teary proudly exclaimed.
It’s no mystery. Now’s the time to promote these 3 climate-friendly concepts - expanding plant-based diets, better food management and improved education and family planning for women. After all, this is our only home; it’s where we’re all forever… Earthbound.
* Project Drawdown
Surprisingly, three early favorites are not among the finalists. That is, they are not the very best ways to reduce CO2 emissions. So we say, “Thanks for your good work and keep it up!” to Electra Carr, Ray Cycling, and Bill D’Composter. All three have pledged to continue their critical roles as part of Earth’s efforts to “Stay Cool Bro!” But our judges* have determined the 3 remaining finalists could be far more effective if implemented world-wide. And here they are! Which one could be - The World’s Biggest (CO2) Loser?
“Who can resist the aroma of meat sizzling on the grill?” Philmore began. “But we’d all be healthier and Earth would stay cooler if our plates were mostly filled with plant foods. I’ve shown that my proposal would be almost 5 times as effective as the combined work of Electra, Ray, and Bill in reducing carbon emissions,” beamed Philmore Greenbowls.
“Quite impressive!” Les Chowwaste admitted. “But frankly, earthlings would do even better by improving food management and reducing food waste. My plan tops Philmore’s; it’s about 6 times as effective as Electra’s and the other’s combined efforts.”
Our last finalist has been secluded from all the other contestants. Until now, only our judges have known her true identity. I think you’ll be surprised, so please welcome Ms. Teary!
“Most people don’t realize the potential power women would have in reducing the harmful effects of climate change. Expanding both educational opportunities and family planning for women worldwide would empower us to be a dynamic force in stabilizing our societies and fostering environmental health. Give us the resources, and we’ll show you we can be as effective as Les Chowwaste’s program,” Ms. Teary proudly exclaimed.
It’s no mystery. Now’s the time to promote these 3 climate-friendly concepts - expanding plant-based diets, better food management and improved education and family planning for women. After all, this is our only home; it’s where we’re all forever… Earthbound.
* Project Drawdown
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