5:30 A.M., 2035 AD…Arnold Advocate woke up in a cold sweat. What a horrible nightmare! Arnold had worked for the past 20 years to reduce carbon-based fuel use to save the planet from the nasty effects of global warming. In his dream the climate scientists had goofed – no global warming after all.
“I’ve wasted my life!” dreamt Arnold. His dream-world door suddenly flew open. Hundreds of fellow citizen lobbyists, his co-workers, shouted, “You were wrong! Twenty years ago we slaved to pass carbon fee and dividend legislation – all for nothing but the almost 3 million additional jobs it created.” Slamming the door they stormed off.
Phil showed up next. Arnold’s engineer friend helped develop the now commonplace electric car. “My career’s been wasted!” he lamented. “We could still be driving those 20% efficient, exhaust spewing, internal combustion engine cars. Now we’ve developed these almost 100% efficient, quiet vehicles with a minimum of moving parts that hardly ever wear out. And of course people now have to generate their own fuel with rooftop solar. All that work, and no global warming.” A tear fell from Phil’s eye.
Then Jenny, the oceanographer, appeared. Finfish weren’t going extinct from warming waters after all. But the dramatic drop in fossil fuel use lowered CO2 levels and saved the oceans’ coral reefs while preventing the extinction of hundred of other shellfish species. Now her research on aquatic species extinctions would have to be re-done. Jenny punched Arnold in the nose and left.
Suddenly the house began to shake; a deafening roar rattled the walls. Looking out, Arnold saw 3 billion peasants from the developing world. They had been taught to convert from traditional solid fuels (wood, dung, coal) to prepare meals with solar cookers and to heat their homes with solar generated heat. Literally millions were no longer dying each year from lung and eye disease resulting from smoky indoor fires. But they missed that dung-smoke aroma and all because of Arnold and his crazy global warming ideas. They began to tear down his walls.
Shaking himself awake, Arnold cleared his head, “Wait a minute. This isn’t a nightmare; it’s living the dream! More jobs, better vehicles, acid free oceans, and millions of lives saved. My work has paid off after all. It’s a good thing too because on this our only home we’re forever…Earthbound.”
“I’ve wasted my life!” dreamt Arnold. His dream-world door suddenly flew open. Hundreds of fellow citizen lobbyists, his co-workers, shouted, “You were wrong! Twenty years ago we slaved to pass carbon fee and dividend legislation – all for nothing but the almost 3 million additional jobs it created.” Slamming the door they stormed off.
Phil showed up next. Arnold’s engineer friend helped develop the now commonplace electric car. “My career’s been wasted!” he lamented. “We could still be driving those 20% efficient, exhaust spewing, internal combustion engine cars. Now we’ve developed these almost 100% efficient, quiet vehicles with a minimum of moving parts that hardly ever wear out. And of course people now have to generate their own fuel with rooftop solar. All that work, and no global warming.” A tear fell from Phil’s eye.
Then Jenny, the oceanographer, appeared. Finfish weren’t going extinct from warming waters after all. But the dramatic drop in fossil fuel use lowered CO2 levels and saved the oceans’ coral reefs while preventing the extinction of hundred of other shellfish species. Now her research on aquatic species extinctions would have to be re-done. Jenny punched Arnold in the nose and left.
Suddenly the house began to shake; a deafening roar rattled the walls. Looking out, Arnold saw 3 billion peasants from the developing world. They had been taught to convert from traditional solid fuels (wood, dung, coal) to prepare meals with solar cookers and to heat their homes with solar generated heat. Literally millions were no longer dying each year from lung and eye disease resulting from smoky indoor fires. But they missed that dung-smoke aroma and all because of Arnold and his crazy global warming ideas. They began to tear down his walls.
Shaking himself awake, Arnold cleared his head, “Wait a minute. This isn’t a nightmare; it’s living the dream! More jobs, better vehicles, acid free oceans, and millions of lives saved. My work has paid off after all. It’s a good thing too because on this our only home we’re forever…Earthbound.”
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