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Invasion of the Chill Snatchers

8/12/2018

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       …And now it’s time for “Philmz on Films” our weekly movie review by Iowa County’s very own Seymore Philmz!
“It’s summer blockbuster time, and a thriller is coming your way soon!  Many of you will remember the 1978 sci-fi classic movie ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers.’  This latest spin-off takes our heroine, Wanda Koollov, on a globe-trotting adventure that’s sure to send chills up your spine!

       “The opening scene finds Wanda mopping perspiration from her brow in … Fairbanks, Alaska of all places!  Staring longingly at distant frozen mountain peaks, Wanda wonders how she’s ended up overheated in this northern clime.  She flashes back to her teenage self – Christmas 1984.  While snow gently falls outside, teenaged Wanda practices Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ dance moves in her bedroom.  As she ‘moonwalks’ down the hallway, the insidious chill snatching invasion’s tentacles are already grasping at all of Earth’s inhabitants!

       “Hopping back to 2018…Wanda leaps from adventure to adventure; each scene closes with Wanda haunted by the sensation that temperatures are slowly rising.  Little does she know that the ‘chill’ of the Earth is being methodically snatched from the atmosphere in a tenacious torrid trend.  The audience soon learns (Spoiler Alert!) that ever since that happy Christmas of her youth – exactly 400 months ago – across the globe, EVERY month’s temperatures have been above average!  And no wonder.  For hundreds of thousands of years carbon dioxide has acted like earth’s atmospheric blanket.  As such, it has averaged 275 parts per million(ppm).  Today, it’s much denser - a whooping 410 ppm!
 
       “This film is being released in Blu-ray format and includes the popular feature to ‘choose your own ending’ from three available screenplays. 

       “Ending ‘A’ – Earth’s inhabitants never really grapple with the reality that the ‘chill snatchers’ are not some alien invaders but humans themselves, releasing excessive greenhouse gasses by burning fossil fuels.  Temperatures continue to climb, forest fires and extreme weather events increase, the oceans rise, coral reefs bleach, and Wanda Koollov never does get to cool off.

       “Ending ‘B’ – Aliens extract Earth’s excess warmth to create energy for their spacecraft.  Temperatures return to normal.  Wanda becomes a dance instructor and marries her high school sweetheart.

       “Ending ‘C’ – Earth’s inhabitants responsibly take on the challenge of addressing the rising temperatures. Earth’s greenhouse gasses slowly revert to ‘humanity-friendly’ levels on this, our only home, where we're forever…Earthbound.”
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    I'm interested in the topics of sustainability and climate change especially in regards to our local area in southwest Wisconsin.

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