Odysseus Blivious’s eyes popped open. “Saturday morning!” he crowed. “Got to get to work!” O., as his friends called him – O. Blivious – wolfed down a few bites of breakfast and strode out to the green expanse that stretched beyond his porch. His huge ½ acre lot was covered in Kentucky blue grass and fescue. “Work” for O. Blivious meant donning a set of headphones, tuning in the “oldies” station, perching on his gas rider mower, and methodically weaving back and forth over his grassy spread.
O. was proud to be named after his mythical Greek hero, Odysseus. “It’s so cool how he outsmarted the ‘Sirens’ by plugging his crew members’ ears so they couldn’t be lulled into a tragic demise by the mesmerizing Sirens. Boy, I’d never let myself be lulled to complacency and oblivion like some poor sap!” he thought while adjusting his headphones to get the
sound just right as he continued back and forth…back and forth.
The top-of-the-hour newscast led with a story about the anticipated El Nino coming this year. “It will likely amplify heatwaves, droughts and floods and increase the average 500,000 annual heat-related deaths globally,” she said.
“Those poor souls,” O. muttered. “Oh well, nothin’ I can do about it,” he said while completing another loop. The newscast concluded with a piece about lawn care pollution. “Studies find that running a gas-powered lawn mower produces eleven times more emissions than running the average new car for the same amount of time. Additionally, lawn chemicals and pumping water used for irrigation create additional greenhouse gas emissions.” O. yawned and made another loop.
With the grass freshly shorn, O. fixed himself a (well-deserved??) iced tea and was about to head for the hammock when his wife called out, “I’m off to the garden club expo. Wanna come? They’ve got a presentation on how to add native vegetation - clovers, shrubs, trees, and flowers - to your landscaping. They say polyculture-landscaping creates a more bio-diverse and healthier environment. There’s supposed to be a demonstration of those cool no-emissions electric lawn mowers too.”
O. was about to roll his eyes and tell her he’d pass, but something made him pause. “Yeah, I’ll go,” he called and thought, “After all, we DO need to protect this planet because it’s the only home we’ll ever know. We’re all forever… Earthbound.”
O. was proud to be named after his mythical Greek hero, Odysseus. “It’s so cool how he outsmarted the ‘Sirens’ by plugging his crew members’ ears so they couldn’t be lulled into a tragic demise by the mesmerizing Sirens. Boy, I’d never let myself be lulled to complacency and oblivion like some poor sap!” he thought while adjusting his headphones to get the
sound just right as he continued back and forth…back and forth.
The top-of-the-hour newscast led with a story about the anticipated El Nino coming this year. “It will likely amplify heatwaves, droughts and floods and increase the average 500,000 annual heat-related deaths globally,” she said.
“Those poor souls,” O. muttered. “Oh well, nothin’ I can do about it,” he said while completing another loop. The newscast concluded with a piece about lawn care pollution. “Studies find that running a gas-powered lawn mower produces eleven times more emissions than running the average new car for the same amount of time. Additionally, lawn chemicals and pumping water used for irrigation create additional greenhouse gas emissions.” O. yawned and made another loop.
With the grass freshly shorn, O. fixed himself a (well-deserved??) iced tea and was about to head for the hammock when his wife called out, “I’m off to the garden club expo. Wanna come? They’ve got a presentation on how to add native vegetation - clovers, shrubs, trees, and flowers - to your landscaping. They say polyculture-landscaping creates a more bio-diverse and healthier environment. There’s supposed to be a demonstration of those cool no-emissions electric lawn mowers too.”
O. was about to roll his eyes and tell her he’d pass, but something made him pause. “Yeah, I’ll go,” he called and thought, “After all, we DO need to protect this planet because it’s the only home we’ll ever know. We’re all forever… Earthbound.”
RSS Feed
