Forrest Phires was all smiles as he stepped into his favorite watering hole. Sure enough, there were the ’24 Hurricanes – Beryl, Francine, Helene, Debbie and Milton – yuking it up around the poker table. “Great season, eh Forrest!?” Beryl called out with a wave. At the bar Forrest found his old pals Lotti Floods and Ty Phoon. He sauntered over and pulled up a stool.
“What are you grinning about?” Lotti asked giving Forrest a high-five. “I just can’t believe what these humans are letting us get away with, especially this year,” Forrest exclaimed. “It’s like the World Series, Super Bowl and the World Cup all rolled up into one. Count ‘em - 24 confirmed weather/climate disaster events with losses exceeding $1 billion each in the good ‘ol U S of A.
“Just think. In the old days, those of us in the environmental disaster business were lucky to squeak out 3 or 4 billion-dollar disasters a year. For 1980 – 2023 the annual average is just 8.5 events (CPI-adjusted), and most of those have been in the past 5 years. But this year we’ve already pulled off 24, and there’s still two months to go! Those humans just keep on paying up. Since 1980 our shenanigans have cost them over $2.79 trillion! (Let’s see. A trillion is 1,000 billion, right?)”
“Yeah,” interjected Lottie, “I was a little nervous back in 1987. You remember; scientists had raised the alarm about the growing ozone hole over Antarctica. Then all the countries cooperated and made a pact to prohibit the use of chlorofluorocarbons. And it’s working; the ozone hole is gradually shrinking. So I figured once the alarm was raised about greenhouse gases polluting the atmosphere and raising Earth’s temperature, everybody would once again cooperate on a plan to reduce their use. Hasn’t happened!
“It’s a real mystery,” Ty added. “Humans seem to prefer to pay to clean-up and rebuild instead of using some of that $2.79 trillion to create an energy system that’s not sooo destructive.
“The thing is, these humans are very clever. Their scientific and industrial infrastructure is more than sufficient to take on this issue. So let’s not count our chickens yet. I bet they’ll figure out how to cooperate to get the job done. After all, this is their only home. It’s where they’re all forever… Earthbound.”
“What are you grinning about?” Lotti asked giving Forrest a high-five. “I just can’t believe what these humans are letting us get away with, especially this year,” Forrest exclaimed. “It’s like the World Series, Super Bowl and the World Cup all rolled up into one. Count ‘em - 24 confirmed weather/climate disaster events with losses exceeding $1 billion each in the good ‘ol U S of A.
“Just think. In the old days, those of us in the environmental disaster business were lucky to squeak out 3 or 4 billion-dollar disasters a year. For 1980 – 2023 the annual average is just 8.5 events (CPI-adjusted), and most of those have been in the past 5 years. But this year we’ve already pulled off 24, and there’s still two months to go! Those humans just keep on paying up. Since 1980 our shenanigans have cost them over $2.79 trillion! (Let’s see. A trillion is 1,000 billion, right?)”
“Yeah,” interjected Lottie, “I was a little nervous back in 1987. You remember; scientists had raised the alarm about the growing ozone hole over Antarctica. Then all the countries cooperated and made a pact to prohibit the use of chlorofluorocarbons. And it’s working; the ozone hole is gradually shrinking. So I figured once the alarm was raised about greenhouse gases polluting the atmosphere and raising Earth’s temperature, everybody would once again cooperate on a plan to reduce their use. Hasn’t happened!
“It’s a real mystery,” Ty added. “Humans seem to prefer to pay to clean-up and rebuild instead of using some of that $2.79 trillion to create an energy system that’s not sooo destructive.
“The thing is, these humans are very clever. Their scientific and industrial infrastructure is more than sufficient to take on this issue. So let’s not count our chickens yet. I bet they’ll figure out how to cooperate to get the job done. After all, this is their only home. It’s where they’re all forever… Earthbound.”
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